Packing away the memories...

So the other day I started packing up the CLAY CT house and it was bittersweet. My room have pictures of the past, stuff to remind me of Hawaii, and memories all over the place. But I'm glad to be moving on... to a new place. One chapter closed, another about to begin. I decided to take a few pictures of what my room looks like...

staring blankly ahead...

Staring blankly ahead, I lose myself. Lost in this world, I feel as if I no longer know where I am going. What's ahead of me? Where will I end up? How will I get there? Who will I be? These questions constantly flow through my head as I stare blankly ahead.

These days it's so easy to lose yourself... or doubt yourself. I mean you can get so wrapped up in daily chores, tasks, annoyances... that you start going 100mph towards nothing. It seems as if we all are working towards something... some people have it set in their heads on what they want... others are still trying to figure that out. But as you continue to try and figure it out... time flies by... and you start to drown in a whirlpool of confusion, fear, and uncertainty.

I've always wanted to be a Doctor.. and still want to be one. I got good grades, I got accepted into Medical School, I made it happen. But I believe things happen for a reason... and the situation that I am currently in made me realize that maybe this is not what I am supposed to be doing. I have always followed "things will fall as they should" and so I just go with the flow.

As lost as I may be, I guess I have to just stare blankly ahead... Things will happen. Eventually I'll figure out what's my calling. Who knows... maybe it is destined that I become a Doctor. But whichever the case, the life I live and want is a happy life. As stressful, difficult, and confusing it may be at times, I can say that it's a good one. I have a wonderful family, awesome friends, and I am healthy. No one likes to be lost, confused, and uncertain... but if you overcome that... and not let it control your life.... then all is good... it's okay to stare blankly ahead. .. for now.

The Tree

Side note: Sorry I was rushing through this cause I had to go somewhere. So my thoughts might be all over the place and not make sense! :)

I decided to post this picture I took a long time ago. I call it the bare tree. As it stands there, naked, leaves fallen, and alone... I couldn't help but think that i feel for this tree.

The way I see it is that we go through life full of obstacles. These obstacles can break you down... strip you of your leaves... and leave you feeling so alone. Piece by piece, a part of you falls... until you become so lost. . . confused. . . and afraid. As you stand there wondering what's next, all you have is that vision of all the pieces that you have lost.. the leaves all on the ground... and you are no longer you.

But it's what you do next that shows your true character. Will you just give up.. and let the obstacle get the best of you? or will you weather the storm and pick yourself back up again? I choose the latter. As down as you may be you have to pick yourself up. You can't be defeated. Yes you have lost a part of you... but you can get that back... and gain even more.

Your leaves will fall... you'll become that bare tree... lost and alone... but just stay strong, soar over any bump, do not fall. Because when the sun finally shines... your leaves will grow... no longer will you be lost and alone... and no longer a bare tree.